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| Is there a Fast Pass for this line? Somebody?? |
So, if you are one of those
people who doesn’t mind being THAT person who is holding up the whole line
behind you at the store, possibly keeping the cashier from taking a lunch break
or their omg-i-need-too-pee break, or you are possibly delaying the ACTUAL
STORE FROM CLOSING, please, if you are that person, just go read something
else.
I’m not that person.
You can see where this is going, right?
Ok. Today I promised
my 12-year-old that I would go and get her 30 dominoes for a school project
that she is working on after school, and this is something that will cause the
project to not turn out, and she will fail this class, and possibly end up
living in a van down by the river, if I don’t produce 30 dominoes. I said, sure.
Because, you know, how hard can it be?
I’m not sure where you find dominoes, but I’m positive I can
handle this grown-up responsibility. I
see them winning the award for the best project and her smiling at me like
“Hey, we couldn’t have won without you getting those dominoes. Thanks Mom!”
I left the house at a time that would give me plenty of time
to accomplish this, plus go to the bank, stop at the spa supply store, and make
a quick stop for my husband to pick up some hunting supplies at a sporting
goods store. Yep, definitely enough
time. Maybe even too much.
Got through the bank, no problem. Hit the freeway and zipped over to the
sporting goods store, which is walking distance from the spa store. Ha, I think—I’ve GOT this. I send a quick text to my husband to double
check what I will need to get for him, and while waiting for the answer and not
being one to waste time, I pop into the spa supply store to grab my two
super-easy “I just need chlorine and shock” products. Easy in, easy out, right? No.
I walk up to the counter and stop behind the only customer
at the counter, being helped by the only guy at the counter. Actually the only employee on the property,
by the looks of it, but I’m like, “Ok, no problem.” So I wait.
Because the products I need are actually: Behind The Counter. So I can’t just grab them and be hanging out
in line. I have to Wait For Help. Ok, still, no problem.
It turns out, however, that the guy (and his wife) in front
of me, are in the middle of a very complicated purchase of a WHOLE HOT TUB
SYSTEM, including delivery, setup, chemical analysis, and maintenance
programming. This is a big deal for
them; yes, I get it. But I’m starting to
think, “wow, bad timing, huh?” So
they’re being helped by the guy, who is of course happy to help them. It’s a big sale, you know, so I’m still pretty
much ok with it. They have lots of
questions about electrical things that sound like “tie-in” and “GFS circuit”,
and I have no idea what they’re talking about, but eventually they sign all 50
documents, get everything but a guided tour of the store, and they’re (tah-dah)
done. So I think, “Yay! I can get my
stuff and jam outa here.”
Meanwhile I’ve missed two calls from my husband, trying to
let me know what he will need from the sporting goods store. (Because I’m one of those polite types who
turns their phone OFFPEOPLEOFFTURNTHEFREAKINGPHONEOFFINTHECHECKOUTLINE). Sorry. Did I say that out loud?
Moving on…
As they leave, finally (yes, I’m happy for them; a new hot
tub is awesome, go, people, go in peace),
I start to take a step towards the counter, when, out of the corner of
my eye, I see…this guy. From
nowhere. Step right UP to the counter in
front of me. I think, “Ok. Maybe he was here before me, and if I step up
ahead of him, he’ll freak totally out that he’s been waiting forever and he’s
NEXT”, so I stand there and wait some more.
I’m starting to check my clock on the phone, because I am on a tight
schedule with the whole dominoes-get-to-the-school-by-3:30 thing, and I still
have the sporting goods store to go to.
He starts out with “Yeah…I have this little part on my hot
tub that’s broken…” and I sigh. Can’t I
just pay for my two products and go? Please?
So the guy helps him figure out WHAT part he has that is broken, and
whether it’s black or white, and what brand it is, and they look it up, call
China for the part number, and ring him up.
“That’ll be $4.17.” Yes! So close
now. He’s paying. I’m almost leaning towards the counter, ready
to spring. Then he says, “so…Tell me
about this XZY brand hot tub? Is that the same as the QRS hot tub you sell?” The employee launches into an explanation of
how the two companies were different, but merged 4 years ago, so now they’re
“sister” companies, and starts in on the pros and cons of the brands. I’m drumming my fingers a bit on the ledge
behind me, and checking my clock. I can
hear it going TICK TOCK. TICK TOCK.
TICKTOCK YOU ARERUNNNINGOUTOFTIME NODOMINOESFORYOUUUUHAHAHAHA.
The guy asks for a brochure.
I’m like, seriously?!?
REALLY? He finally goes away, and
I am able to quickly step up and ask for my two products, and pay for
them. No, I don’t want any extra
products. I don’t want to be on the
mailing list, though for some reason, it does take him awhile to “find” me in
the computer. I didn’t realize I needed
to be IN there.. I’m holding my debit
card here; what else do we NEED for this?
I sort of quick-step to my car and throw the chemicals in the front seat,
and quickly call my husband back as I run/walk across the parking lot to the
sporting goods store. The nice couple
ahead of me waits for me and holds the door for me. Thanks.
J
I get inside, and fortunately what he needs are two things
that are easy to find, so I grab them and head to the counter, where, again,
there is one tired girl helping a long line of people preparing for Hunting
Season. I know I have to wait, so I’m
standing there behind the couple who held the door, waiting. A guy shows up and opens the other till and
says “I can help whoever’s next in line.”
Everyone (I swear) just looks at him, but no one moves. (eyebrow up)
I say “Well, *I’ll* go over there. So I step around to that side, and find
myself somehow half a step behind the couple who held the door. That’s cool; whatever. We’re still way ahead, right? No.
They are returning not one, but TWO axes, or mauls, or whatever they’re
called. So the new cashier here has to
fill out some: Paperwork. He needs their
receipts, both of them, with the yellow tag still attached. He needs their photo I.D. (really?) He needs “the card # ending in….0413”. He runs it as a credit but somehow it is
wrong, so he has to repeat the process.
I visibly slump. The lady keeps
glancing towards me, but I refuse to meet her eye while I check my clock and
wonder where the closest place to find dominoes is. I still don’t know. Do grocery stores have dominoes? There’s one close, but if it DOESN’T have
dominoes, I will have used up my allotted time searching. Wal-Mart? Too far. Target?
Ah-hah, maybe.
The couple also decides they are buying something. I slump a bit further. I now have 15 minutes to get to the domino
purchase and back to my car and get to the school by 3:30. Sigh.
They are finally done. She
finally actually catches my eye and says, “Sorry!” I say, “no problem” because
I know, it’s not technically their fault.
I think it’s me sometimes; I swear I cause lines to s
l o w d o
w n until time has no meaning.
I pay and jog to the car, still wondering where to go for
dominoes. I decide to actually CALL
Target and ask them. This turns out to
be somewhat complicated to do while driving and being 2 stop lights away from
the actual stop light for Target, where I will have to either decide to pull in
and walk into the actual store to find out, or get past the recording with
“Thanks for calling Target. Our store
hours are blah blah blah” etc., to a person who I can ask about “Hello? Yes!
I’m almost to your
storeandIneedtoknowifyouhavedominoesbeforeIhavetoturninatthelight.” I’m
thinking hurry hurry hurry, please WILL YOU HURRY UP? I’m almost THERE!
The lady who answered puts me on hold twice, saying they are
finding out if they carry dominoes. I’m
getting closer; I’m only one light away.
Turn in? or keep driving to Wal-Mart?
Tension! I slow down a little to
catch a red light (who does that? Lol) and buy some time. She comes back and transfers me to Toys,
where Jenny answers.
Thank goodness for Jenny!
She says they carry them. I’m at
the light. Do they HAVE them? She is
going to look. I’m turning into the
parking lot as she says they DO have them.
I tell her I have to be AT the school in 15 minutes, what part of the
store are the dominoes in? She says, of
course, the farthest back corner from the door.
On the wall, in the corner. Of
course she does. But Jenny is awesome,
and she says she has them in her hand, and she will come meet me up front with
them. I am so grateful! I’m in 3” heels
and I don’t think I can run that distance and back to my car in 4 minutes. I want to adopt her.
I walk in and see a girl just inside the doors, waving like
one of those folks at the airport waiting for their party…”Dominoes?” “YES! I love you! You are my new best
friend!” She also walks me right to the
customer service desk where I immediately hand the guy $4.00, and I am heading
for my car in less than 1 minute. I
think I’ll buy some Target stock if the market ever comes back…and one for
Jenny, too.
I race to the school and get there with just minutes to
spare. I am so proud that I got all my errands
run; I have Saved The Day. I feel like
one of those soccer moms who run errands and have kid stuff all organized and
projects completed on time, every time, without any excuses like
”this-will-have-to-work-because-i-don’t-have-time-to-make-one-more-stop-for balloons,
toothpicks, spraypaint, duct tape, and a goat hide (you need WHAT?) for the
project tonight.” Super. Mom. Yep, I got your 30 dominoes.
The girls come out, and my daughter asks if I remembered the
dominoes. Like she’s really hoping I did
NOT forget (she does not want to live in a van down by the river). I smile and hand them to her. Of COURSE I totally got the dominoes. She’s getting a ride with her friend and her
friend’s mom, so the other mom comes over to touch base with me about the
project. She sees me handing them to my
daughter and says,
Ready?
“Oh, I already got some dominoes. You don’t need those.”
I know, right?
By the way, the box I got only had 28 dominoes. /:{
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