Saturday, September 27, 2014

Chopsticks and "Laughings Fits" with my Brother

I love that my brother and I share an odd sense of humor, (and possibly a brain)...even though we've lived opposite ends of the country for most of our lives.

I was thinking of him today, because our mom's birthday was this week, and he's taking her to dinner tonight at a restaurant where we had one of our silliest laughing fits, a long time ago.  It's a Polynesian restaurant in south Florida, where it's dinner and a show:  fire-eaters, dancers, loud drums, drinks in mugs that look like totem poles, the whole thing.  There's even a big tropical garden to walk around in after dinner.

But, for some reason, you can order chopsticks to eat with, when you eat there.  Which he did, last time we went.
Possibly exactly these

Maybe it was the drinks in the totem pole thing, but we got to looking at the Chinese lettering on his chopsticks while watching the island dancers and fire eaters stomping around.  It started with him wondering, "Do you ever wonder what this writing actually says?"

Suddenly, we both had lots of ideas for loose translations.  Here are a few I remember:

Use other end.

Good luck finishing dinner.

You ordered rice, didn't you?

Do not use around eye area.

We know you can't read this.

Hope you didn't order soup.

Haven't you ever heard of a spoon?

We don't even use these in China any more.  These are so 1800's.

We only make these to send to American restaurants.  Because FORKS.


It kind of spiraled into this uncontrollable fit of giggling that we couldn't stop, and my mom had to pretend like she wasn't with us, or even related to us...which made it even funnier.  You know the kind.  Like when you spill Skittles on the hard-wood floor in the middle of a church service...but somehow it's the funniest thing that ever happened, and you can't stop trying not to giggle?  (well, maybe not that funny, but still).          not that that's ever happened to me...

It also morphed into a conversation about his various tattoos, most of which are cool-looking groups of Asian script.  He swears that the one down the back of his calf is the word for "courage", but I like to tell him, come onit probably just says "broom" or something.  Because, who would know?  And if they did, who's going to say anything?  Like, sir, excuse me, but why do you have the word 'frying pan' on your leg? And do you know it says "kick me" on your shoulder?

I always warn him that, maybe the tattoo guy has no idea, or those were just the prettiest script letters that day, and he was like, oooh, I want to do that one!  Next guy that comes in...I'm doing that.  I don't care if it means "shovel"--it looks AWEsome.

His next tattoo is going to be a totem pole, though, so maybe there's some weird connection there that I'm not getting.

Ahh, good times.  I miss him.    *sniff*

Ever find yourself in those situations where you're laughing at something at an inappropriate time, when you know you shouldn't, and it just gets worse?  

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Whoa, My 100th Post!

Sorry I've been gone for, like, EVER.  But, oh my gosh, you guys, I had to be away a lot, because SUMMER.

And company, and camping, and gardening, and books, and French lessons (bonjour! see?), and knitting socks and hats and sweaters, and reading at the beach, and sending our oldest off to college, and school shopping, and varsity volleyball games (which I also love), and SO MUCH REGULAR STUFF.

Also, there were a few incidents of chasing loose rampaging pigs around our property.  For real.  I only wish I'd thought to take pictures, because you can NOT make that stuff up, but I was so mad and out of breath from chasing them, that my phone was really the last thing I had on my mind at the time.  It was more focused on OMG KEEP THEM OUT OF THE ROAD!  No! Ahhhh! Stoppp!  They're on the road.  They are going. down. the. road.     I'm done.   

I also kept putting off writing this post, because I totally thought my 100th post should be, you know...meaningful, so I kept waiting for anything to come along that was worth writing down, or really profound.  And nothing did.  And it still hasn't.  So...  hey.      *waves*

Normally, I get blog post ideas, or I find myself in situations that just *have* to be written down, and I'm like this:
But, lately...nothing


 I did discover how much I LOVE having a kid in college.  I love that she's happy there, I love the sports, I love the town, the campus, and the fact that she and her roommate hit it off, right off the bat.  I'm wearing a university shirt right now, but I AM trying not to be one of those psycho college moms, all living vicariously through their kids.  I also love the school travel cup she got me...but that's the extent of it.  Oh...and the magnet on the car.  But that's it, seriously.  Although I do love logo hats... (hint, hint)

Other than all that, seriously, nothing worth writing about has happened, or maybe it's just the fact that I've been too busy, you know, living the stuff, to write about any of it.  It's all good, though.

I wish my 100th post was more insightful or something, like me all getting in touch with my inner self or whatever, but it's not, and I'm not.  All I learned this summer is that, the older I get, the lazier I get.  I suddenly commiserate with people who hire their yard work done, because, why ELSE is there a hammock out there??  duh

Oh, I DID start swimming a mile a day again, and it's much quieter at our gym right now, and I don't have to share a lane quite as oftenso I'm loving that.  I'm pretty annoyed that I don't look any different yet. I haven't lost 20 pounds or anything, but you know, it's only been a week, so I'm willing to give it a little more time.

I'm sure as the weather changes, I'll be around more.  I may even think of something meaningful to write about, besides complaining about the weather (or lack of it) here, or whining about wanting more summer, or how maybe we should just become snowbirds in France (that's a joke--we're not, repeat not, moving).  There are also always more fun photos and memories of my hippie childhood to browse through, so stay tuned.  

Also, if you're on my regular list of reading...I'm not dead, and I'm not ignoring anyone.  I've just been offline for so long this summer that I actually forgot my Google password.  

I know, right? 

So, now everyone can rest easy.  I'm still here.  Hope your summer's wrapped up well, and you're enjoying all the fall-ish stuff.  Except "pumpkin" coffee.  Heathens.