Friday, May 9, 2014

BUT I DON'T LIKE BLUE...And Other First World Problems

"New and Improved"

Am I getting old, or is it really necessary for food marketing companies to keep changing things that are PERFECT THE WAY THEY ARE ALREADY?  Can't some things be left alone, to just exist in their already perfect state? Is it me, or does anyone else feel like they could really get behind a food label that says: "XYZ Product…EXACTLY the way you remember it!!" Then I wouldn't be subjected to late-night snack surprises, which everyone knows is a bad time to surprise anyone.

For evidence, may I present…Exhibit A:
What?? NO.  They were FINE the way they WERE.
This, right here, is a perfect example of something that did NOT need to be improved or changed.  Sour Patch Kids were doing just fine.  They didn't need another color.  They didn't need another flavor.  We, as Sour Patch fans, weren't yearning for the flavor of …"blue".  Blue? What even IS that?  Raspberry? And since when was raspberry-flavored candy always blue?  Guys.  Raspberries are never blue.  Never.  NEVER EVER.  Everyone knows this.  Blueberries aren't even blue, but at least that's a comparison I could understand.  And while we're on the subject, there's actually a color called "raspberry”, AND IT IS THE RIGHT COLOR, so why not use that for raspberry candies?   Ok, digressing…

Anyway, I just wanted to point this out to the makers of these products.  Like, hello, people in suits:  If a product has been around for like a million years and has possibly even been identified in ancient cave drawings, then chances are THIS IS NOT SOMETHING THAT NEEDS TO BE MESSED WITH.  Leave it alone.

It's time to take a stand.  I let a lot of stuff slide.  I rolled my eyes at the new "Coke", back in the day. I was only semi-OK with it when they added blue M&M's.  I was actually excited to see a Milky Way Dark, and I *get* the idea of tropical fruit Skittles, (though it still just seems wrong).  What was great about those changes, though, was that they are options, not this in-your-face, this-is-the-new-program, kind of thing.  So, dear marketers, this is just where I'm drawing the line.  Right here.  Leave the Sour Patch alone.  I don't want to eat "blue" Sour Patch Kids.  I want my citric acid products to remain the perfect mix of yellow, orange, red, and green that they've always been.  Having those blue ones in there just throws off the whole groove.  

I jubilantly bought what was possibly the planet's last existing bag of what are now the "old, unimproved" Sour Patch...the kind that don't say "NOW INCLUDING BLUE", the other night.  I guess I'll have to start lurking on ebay, watching for any others to surface, or learn to like blue.

So, I'd just like to go on record as highly recommending that the companies go back to the drawing board on this one.  I'm thinking they could possibly consider funneling some of those extra "new/improved" dollars towards something worthwhile that needs actual improvement.  Like shredded wheat.  Because, hello--shredded wheat.  Not even the iced version helped THAT product, and that was back in like 1976.  Pretty sure the whole shredded wheat concept could use some looking into.

Get with the program, marketers.  I'll be over here, sorting out my Sour Patch Kids.

Anyone else find an old tried-and-true favorite suddenly given an unnecessary "update"?  


  1. I could not agree more with every word in this post.

    1. Thanks! It does seem like things that need an update...never get one.