Of Nail Polish, Dead Chickens, and Garden Fences

In case you recall, I mentioned in one of my last (long ago) posts that I'd fallen down the rabbit freaking HOLE that is Instagram, and into the world of indie nail polishes, so I got side tracked for like six months doing all that.  And, posting to Instagram every morning with a fun/funny caption has totally sapped my mojo for blogging, and then I realized what the heck am I doing? I should be blogging this stuff.

See? Omg, they CAN grow.

So, yeah.

ANYhoo....

Gosh, where to even start? If you've read my garden posts along the way, you might know that we started building a fence around our vegetable garden about one thousand years ago back when Lincoln was President OK NINE, NINE YEARS AGO WE STARTED ON THE FENCE.  And we screwed in the Very Last Bolt...last...night.  *clinks glass*

The view from the deck.  Finally (hopefully) NO DEER

Which means, it's time to start planting vegetables for real, even though right now, today, is the hottest day we have had in like the last 80 years of June weather, (93 degrees does not happen here in June, people, just...why).  So, I spent yesterday outside, lurking from shady spot to shady spot and pretending to rake rocks out of the new area we uncovered to plant in, and trying to pretend like a headache, dizzy spells, and cold sweats are normal for planting season.  They're not, I'm pretty sure...

I did manage to get a lot of things planted, but there is still the whole other side of the garden to plant, and THAT side doesn't get any shade at all, so maybe tomorrow I'll do that.  Because tomorrow turns out to be the best time to do a lot of things, as it turns out.

This morning I decided to chuck any pretense of gardening and spent the morning painting my nails (which have, yes, survived for six month, due to my finally learning that oil is the secret--more on that some other time), making laundry soap, paying bills, and disposing of dead chicken bodies.  Wait--you didn't have dead chicken bodies in your morning routine?  You should totally try it.  I don't even know why this one died...she was acting all "I'm not feeling too hot" yesterday, which is probably a bad pun, because it was effing HOT yesterday, and I kept moving her into the shade because she was being all wilty and lethargic.  I knew this morning that she'd probably not have made it, and sadly, she hadn't, so I had a little ceremony where I grimace a lot and use gloves and several garbage bags and a lot of wishing there was someone else to do this right now, and removed the body.   ewww

Actually, we had some unknown mystery predator break into our main hen coop about a week ago and violently kill three of my favorite hens, including Pearl, my white Americauna, who was like a pet, so possibly this one yesterday had been injured then, and only just now died?  They weren't eaten, just had their necks stretched to oblivion and left lying around the pen, and there was a fairly small opening pushed up on the roof line wire where whatever it was, climbed UP the fence and pushed out through the top. I had ten, and now I'm suddenly down to six hens in that coop... wah...

Wondering who's next? Hopefully no one...

So, now I'm inside waiting for it to finish getting all the way hot for the day, so I can go outside and pretend to rake rocks and plant more vegetables again while trying not to pass out in the garden.  Or possibly not.  I could just be going to take a nap or work on my latest giant undertaking, which is a 3 x 4' cross-stitched tapestry replica of an actual giant medieval tapestry that I hope to have finished before I die retire.

What the finished product will be...

Where I'm at right now...

So there you have it.  And I promise or pinkie swear or whatever, to try to write more often than every four or six months, because you KNOW so many stupid/interesting/funny/randomly awkward things happen around here way more often than that...I just forget to write them down.

Or you could just get on Instagram and see what I've actually been up to...  *sorry*!

Ok, go back to whatever you were doing.

My "Disconnected" Life

Guys.  I have a confession to make.  Well, more like a statement to make.  Or maybe it's just like a memo that you didn't get yet, which totally hasn't mattered, because you're sitting there all living your life and not really knowing that I've been over here going through all kinds of epiphanies and stuff.  And since I may or may not have lots of words to say about all of it, I also compiled a bunch of fun photos to make this more like a photographic memo, which should make it more fun for me for you.  

So here goes-

I don't remember what the date was, but it was maybe two weeks ago now, when I turned on the internet news and saw that there had been a(nother) college campus shooting by a(nother) demented...I don't even know the word.  For the sake of clarity, we'll just call him a terrorist.  He doesn't deserve any attention.  Anyway, of course I read the story, because the whole entire world drops everything and reads these stories.  And something in me just snapped.

This happened in Oregon, where I have lived before.  I adore Oregon.  Roseburg is one of the towns we always drove through and said "Hey, we should totally MOVE here, because it's gorgeous and quiet".  So, for this to happen there, really just got me.  Plus, he targeted Christians.  Blatantly.  Executed.  Christians.  Which is what I am.  Which means, if we'd moved to Roseburg and sent our oldest to that college (could happen), our family could have been living through this nightmare right now, with all those other families who are living through it.  

I won't try to wax eloquent on that, but I read the first day's worth of news on that story, and I just...cracked.  I'm done.  I don't want to know what's going on out there any more.  I don't want to hear how evil people can be.  I don't want to see the endless debates about whether this was or was not a terrorist attack or how it revolves around gun control or not.  I don't want to see a constant stream of photos of loved ones grieving the sudden loss of a child/husband/fiance/friend.  I'm just...done.

I turned off the internet and walked away from my desk.  I spent a solid week avoiding my desk, except to work.  I had to use the internet connection to run customer credit card transactions and answer emails, but other than that, when I opened the Google main page with that search bar and all my saved page tabs at the top of the screen, I just stared at it for a minute, then clicked it *off* and walked away.

Actually, it gave me kind of a satisfyingly wicked sense of control to decline the invitation of that blinking mouse cursor, waiting for me to click my way back into the harsh reality that is the world today.  Kind of like that feeling you get when you really want a piece of cake but you're on a diet so you grab a carrot stick instead, and you feel all strong and grown up and girl power-ish.

So, I read more books.  I worked on a crochet Christmas gift.  I played with the dog.  I got re-obsessed with nail polish because why not?  I adore nail polish.  I continued with our South Beach diet, which is working and is a story for another post because yay, weight loss!

We went camping, even further from the world of internet and terrorists and in-your-face angst and online trolls (what is with the comments online? Are they even people?).  No cell service for 3 days was heaven.  I sat by the lake with the dog.  We sat around campfires with our large extended family of in-laws, cousins, nephews, nieces, and parents and just enjoyed each other and the mountains.  I read some more.  On the way up, I had to call a sister-in-law to ask her why all the flags were at half-mast, because I hadn't heard any news for over a week, and God forbid...what's happened now?  She wasn't sure, so I took that as a good sign that hopefully nothing earth-shattering had happened.  (I think it was for the funerals from the above event).

When we got home, I did get back online to keep my French lessons current, because that's just a goal I want to accomplish.  I  have enjoyed my Instagram account just for nail art and nail polish because, again, why not?  I haven't checked Twitter.  I haven't checked Facebook.  No, wait--I did log on accidentally and see my feed once, and the first thing I saw was a comment by a loved one that just made me want to scream "REALLY??!? You're saying that? ONLINE?"  I composed a message to elaborate my point, then deleted it and logged out. Walked away shaking my head.  I went back outside with my coffee and shook it off by listening to the waterfall and the birds, watched the yellow leaves rain down from our birch tree, and enjoyed that only-in-the-fall juxtaposition of sun on my face and cool nip in the breeze.

Ahh, much better.

OK, in all fairness to the internet and the goodness thereof, I do have a few blogs that I still read, because they show up in my email in box, and this morning I *did* have to Google "how to get the smell of dirty socks out of clean dried laundry" (which is probably self-explanatory, and also gives you a peek into my laundry life that is possibly TMI).

Other than that, I haven't been back online.  I just don't even care any more.  If any good news comes along, I'd be happy to hear about it.  Other than that, I'm just done.  Not hiding from reality, just...blocking it out of our house, which is our haven from the world, and I'm going to keep it that way.

Wow, that was a lot of words.  But then, if you're reading this, you're probably not surprised.

In case you skimmed this just to look at the pictures, here's a pictorial essay that says the same thing, but with less words.

So I turned off my internet...

...AND social media, because NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU'RE HAVING FOR DINNER

Yo.     Stop.

My friends, when I tell them I haven't been online for 10 DAYS..."Whaaat?"

Them:  "Doesn't that feel like you're living in a CAVE? How can you TURN OFF THE INTERNET?"

Me:  I already explained this.  WITH PICTURES.

It feels kind of like this...

...And THIS.  But with more laundry and dishes.  And less  beach

Still.  No internet = Very little negative crap in my life.

I WIN.




Still need more?

Hold my calls.  I'll be outside painting my nails.

Ahmigash I Won an Award!

see? it's official-

So, before I went off in an RV to California last week, I had a lovely comment from Jennifer at Total Randomness, who very kindly nominated me for a Liebster Award, which is a pay-it-forward kind of way for bloggers to appreciate other bloggers, and to remind us that, yes, other people read our writing.

I love her blog and her randomness and real-ness, and I am so flattered that she thought of me, because it usually feels like I'm writing basically for myself, so anyone else who appreciates my rambling is pretty much on my list of favorite people, forever and ever amen.  So, THANKS JEN!!  Also--to the blogging world at large--I'm sorry I'm bad at keeping up on my reading and commenting this year, but I'm hardly ever at my desk (to read) and can never think of anything fun (to write), so...yeah.

ANYhoo.  Here are the my answers to the award-related questions.

1.  Why did you start your blog?  To solve world hunger and focus on issues that help humanity.  HAHAHAHAHA.  Actually my daughter and I started a blog because one day we were driving and the phrase "running with cookies" came to mind because we don't like to run, but we do like cookies, so we thought if we could run with cookies...it might be worth it.  Then we were all, hey, that could be a band name, but neither of us has a band.  Then, she decided to create a blog that we could both post on, because her writing and artwork are hilarious and make me cry with laughter, and I thought I'd occasionally pop in and write long snarky ramblings.  THEN I decided that my writing is WAY TOO LONG AND AND SNARKY AND RAMBLY, (like my thought processes), so I branched off and went all rogue and started my own blog.  So...that's the "why" part.  I guess.

2.  What is your favorite movie?  So many choices...but my usual quick answer is The English Patient.  No idea why...because I hate that the whole thing is about an affair and then she dies and he gets burned and then dies, and that part where Willem DaFoe loses his thumbs, but I always cry at the part where he's staggering along carrying her and crying.  *sniff*    And Ben Hur.  Just, because.  Also, there is an old sort of sleeper movie with Melanie Griffith and Michael Douglas called Shining Through that I adore.

3.  Where was your last, best vacation?  You guys.  I JUST got back, night before last, from an RV trip/vacation to Alameda, in San Francisco, where we got to see a group of my family all in one place who have never been all together in our lives, and which may never happen again.  That was my last vacation AND my best vacation, but also like an adventure of mishaps and stress.  My next, best vacation will be to the Bahamas.  On a big boat with lots of room service.

4.  Who is your favorite author and why?  I love Phillippa Gregory's historical fiction, but anyone who writes about medieval English history is my favorite.  And Rosamunde Pilcher. Because at the end of her books, you just stare into space and aren't ready to say goodbye to the people and the world she creates.

5.  What is your most prized possession?  I sat here wondering, and I don't really have anything "prized".  Because my family had a house fire and lost everything when I was 16, I do have a very few things from my childhood or my grandparents, and those things are irreplaceable.  Probably because of that loss, I also highly value photos, because without those, the memories are kind of...lost.  If that makes sense.

6.  Cat, or dog?  Both.  Usually cat--we have THREE: Sam (on top), Jack (left) and Louis (right).

happy and dog-less

But then, something seemed to be missing, so we decided that we really needed an English Mastiff, so we got a 10-week-old puppy on March 2nd, and she is now an over 70-pound, 6-month old:

Bindi and Sam last month

7.  What is the most delicious food you have ever eaten?  A dish at a local mediterranean restaurant that is called "chicken ravioli" but is actually cheese raviolis covered in a to-die-for cream sauce that has large chunks of chicken and feta and onion in it, and it is the best thing in the history of food ever.  And some of my old cake flavor combinations, like pink champagne cake filled with huckleberries and whipped white chocolate ganache.  

8.  What is your favorite quote and by who?  Oh, wow.  I usually only quote movies, so I guess I'm pretty shallow.  Seriously, none come to mind, so I must not have a favorite.  I saw a great one the other day that said basically "Never use a lot of words to say too little, but use a few words to say a lot", but then I thought ok, that doesn't really apply, does it?  

9.  If you could meet anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?  Short list? The Apostle Paul.  The Empress Josephine Boneparte.  Anne Boleyn.  Elizabeth Woodville.   Every medieval queen of England.  My ancestors from Poland.  I could go on and on.

10.  What is your favorite post you've written?  (please provide link)  *stares at ceiling*  Welllllll...I like most of them.  Some I cringe over and think about deleting.  Some are just "meh".  But I usually like this one, because I'm usually feeling annoyed about Facebook in general, and this post sums it up in a lot of wordy paragraphs.   --  Facebook Should Have A Punch Button 

That's my list, and thanks to anyone who reads this rambling.

And, to pass it on, I'm nominating my friend Michelle at Rubber Shoes In Hell, because she is funny and smart and snarky and irreverant and all my favorite things, and I want to hear her answers to these questions.