|No, not this. But I'd also totally get this one, seriously.|
(Translation: COULD YOU - NOT ???) Because lately that is all I find myself saying to pretty much everyone I meet.
*Whispers or...maybe it's me?*
Possibly I'm invisible. Or my car is invisible. Or I'm just really good at ALWAYS BEING IN PEOPLE'S WAY or something, but seriously-- lately, all I get from people, at the grocery store, in parking lots, and on the road, is that look like: "WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK are you doing right there in my way????"
So I feel like I'm always telling them: "Could you NOT ??? ...
1. ..pull out in front of me while I'm driving through a green light?
2. ..stop suddenly in front of my 200-pound shopping cart?
3. ..sneak behind my car while I'm backing out of a spot?
4. ..tailgate me when there are like 50 cars ahead of me already, and they're ALL going 27 mph in a 55 mph zone? Yes. I KNOW we're going too slow. I didn't start this party.
5. ..pull UP the DOWN lane in the already-tiny parking lot at the gym and then look at ME like I suddenly materialized in the lane in a UFO? (hello, crazy lady from today's episode of 'parking at the gym" Are you high?)
I think she actually was...seriously. I had to mouth at her: "NO. LET ME GET OUT OF YOUR WAY." Because she tried to actually squeeze a FULL-SIZED SUBURBAN PAST ME, in a single-lane situation. I could not believe how hard she tried. Like, do you seriously NOT see me right now? I'M RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAMN LANE!!! YOU CAN NOT FIT THAT CAR THROUGH HERE.
So. Right now the whole idea of "COULD YOU - NOT ???" seems to just fit every single incident of my life lately.
Except for "Could you not...read my blog?" Because that would be weird and probably just rude, and then I'd be all just writing for no one but myself, which I kind of already do, but still, *you* are the exception. I missed you. :)
How about this, instead?
|Maybe it would remind me to actually do it. ;)|