|Anyone else need to quit trying to make conversation with random strangers?|
Don't you love the awkwardness that ensues when you think you're being all hilarious and sharing a joke with a stranger, and the person you're talking to has no idea why you're even speaking to them? Or worse, they appear insulted? That's me...pretty much most of the time.
Yesterday I thought I actually was being funny (my mistake) when I came out of the grocery store after a giant snowstorm, with wayyyy more than the milk, mayo and toilet paper I'd gone IN for. For some reason, I'd been randomly wandering the store discovering all these lovely organic things I hadn't taken the time to notice before, and ended up buying a lot more than I had planned. Because, you know, snow. And apparently my secret shopping rule about snow storms is "BUY ALL THE THINGS."
It wasn't until I walked out that I remembered that there was 3-4" of new snow on top of the ice in the grocery store parking lot. I guess they plow, but by 9:30 a.m., you're pretty much on your own.
|No thanks. Really, I got it.|
So--I paused at the exit on the last bit of sidewalk that was clear, holding onto my 300-pound cart, and stared across the parking lot to my car, which I had luckily parked really close to the front entrance, but still...lots of snow separated us. I stood there pondering for a bit, thinking, "Oh, wow. THIS was probably a really bad a idea". With that exact *look* on my face.
|I was picturing THIS, only with all our food in it...|
A woman was walking in towards me right at that moment, and we made eye contact. She saw me hesitating before braving a nearly impossible push to my car, with what I thought was a funny look on my face. I thought it was OBvious that I was standing there staring because I was questioning my own judgement about filling a cart and then assuming I could then also get that cart to my car across a slush wasteland, so I just looked at her and said:
Me: Ahhh, that moment of regret.
She apparently didn't see me questioning my own judgement while holding a too-heavy cart that I had no chance of pushing all the way to my car without a dog team. She thought I was saying something about her, I guess...Maybe she thought I was questioning her judgement in putting on that full-length puffer coat that made her look like a ship in full sail. She looked like she was actually annoyed with me.
|She wasn't rocking this look. At all. But I digress...|
I mentally apologized to her for trying to make her smile and recovered nicely by saying, "You know. That moment of regret when you realize your cart's never going to make it to your car." She still looked at me like I had just asked her for some spare change, frowned, and went inside. Or maybe she was making a note to NOT make the same mistake. (You're welcome, lady!)
It's always kind of a let down when you make a joke with the WRONG PERSON. I consoled myself with the fact that she just didn't get it, but I still felt like kind of a freak as I dragged my cart (and actually almost spilled it once--yeah, THAT HELPED) to my car...
|Exactly this. Only with a grinch load in the cart, and more snow. Good times.|
Note to self: try shopping at 5:30 a.m. next time, because apparently that is the only time you will see any concrete in the parking lot. Or, hire a sherpa with a yak team.
|I MADE IT!! WE CAN EAT!!|