Saturday, September 27, 2014

Chopsticks and "Laughings Fits" with my Brother

I love that my brother and I share an odd sense of humor, (and possibly a brain)...even though we've lived opposite ends of the country for most of our lives.

I was thinking of him today, because our mom's birthday was this week, and he's taking her to dinner tonight at a restaurant where we had one of our silliest laughing fits, a long time ago.  It's a Polynesian restaurant in south Florida, where it's dinner and a show:  fire-eaters, dancers, loud drums, drinks in mugs that look like totem poles, the whole thing.  There's even a big tropical garden to walk around in after dinner.

But, for some reason, you can order chopsticks to eat with, when you eat there.  Which he did, last time we went.
Possibly exactly these

Maybe it was the drinks in the totem pole thing, but we got to looking at the Chinese lettering on his chopsticks while watching the island dancers and fire eaters stomping around.  It started with him wondering, "Do you ever wonder what this writing actually says?"

Suddenly, we both had lots of ideas for loose translations.  Here are a few I remember:

Use other end.

Good luck finishing dinner.

You ordered rice, didn't you?

Do not use around eye area.

We know you can't read this.

Hope you didn't order soup.

Haven't you ever heard of a spoon?

We don't even use these in China any more.  These are so 1800's.

We only make these to send to American restaurants.  Because FORKS.


It kind of spiraled into this uncontrollable fit of giggling that we couldn't stop, and my mom had to pretend like she wasn't with us, or even related to us...which made it even funnier.  You know the kind.  Like when you spill Skittles on the hard-wood floor in the middle of a church service...but somehow it's the funniest thing that ever happened, and you can't stop trying not to giggle?  (well, maybe not that funny, but still).          not that that's ever happened to me...

It also morphed into a conversation about his various tattoos, most of which are cool-looking groups of Asian script.  He swears that the one down the back of his calf is the word for "courage", but I like to tell him, come onit probably just says "broom" or something.  Because, who would know?  And if they did, who's going to say anything?  Like, sir, excuse me, but why do you have the word 'frying pan' on your leg? And do you know it says "kick me" on your shoulder?

I always warn him that, maybe the tattoo guy has no idea, or those were just the prettiest script letters that day, and he was like, oooh, I want to do that one!  Next guy that comes in...I'm doing that.  I don't care if it means "shovel"--it looks AWEsome.

His next tattoo is going to be a totem pole, though, so maybe there's some weird connection there that I'm not getting.

Ahh, good times.  I miss him.    *sniff*

Ever find yourself in those situations where you're laughing at something at an inappropriate time, when you know you shouldn't, and it just gets worse?  


  1. Anytime I'm laughing and I shouldn't be laughing I can count on it to get worse,

    When my youngest was a baby, I was working as a consultant and I could take off all the time I wanted. We went to the gulf coast for 3 weeks. It was a great vacation. My husband's sister and her husband came down and spent 5 days with us.

    I will never forget that trip because my husband and his sister recalled something from their childhood (a sort of funny story that involved calling strangers 'potato chip ears' with a microphone).

    The story was kind of funny...but my husband who doesn't laugh easily and his sister were laughing so hard they couldn't breath. They couldn't stop laughing. My brother in law and I were so bewildered that we couldn't stop laughing. To this day, years later, if my brother in law or I bring it up when we're all together, we can get them to laugh really hard again. Not as hard as that first night..but pretty damn hard. It's awesome.

    They're coming down next weekend. Thanks for the reminder. I'll definitely be bringing up 'potato chip ears'.

    1. Definitely bring it up! We still get the giggles over those chopsticks! :)

  2. My husband and I had one of those times the other night....right before we tried to go to sleep. Luckily for him he gets over them easily...unluckily for him, I do not. So, I guess you can imagine how that played out. :( If only I could remember what was damned funny?!

    1. We do that here sometimes too...hysterically giggling over something stupid, and then we're both wiping our eyes and trying to keep a straight face. Gotta love those tears of laughter. :)